How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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