she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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