i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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