dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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