P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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