then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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