Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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