Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
