It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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