I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize