For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize