So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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