We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
