I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I had to cum in my sink.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
