im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
