Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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