She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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