I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
