I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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