If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
