Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
