Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
