he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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