I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My brain says no but my pants say off.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize