Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
