I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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