i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
