I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
