Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
