Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
