if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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