At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
