just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
