Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
