What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
