I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize