Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
