Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize