Need sex. Gaining weight.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
