So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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