They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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