Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
