they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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