I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
