I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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