yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
