smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
