sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
