My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize