Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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