i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Even my vagina gasped.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize