somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How does it feel to date your dad?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
