is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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