so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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