i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
