Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
