I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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