I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
