: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
