I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
