i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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