who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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