Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do vagina's smell?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize