Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
