So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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