Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
