i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
